There are many ways for young men and women of the Zhuang ethnic group to freely fall in love, such as throwing embroidered balls, hitting wooden troughs, and singing. Throwing embroidered balls is a way for girls to hold colorful embroidered balls and line up neatly to sing folk songs during the Zhuang folk song fair. If they see a boy they like, they will throw the embroidered balls to him. The boy takes the embroidered balls, and if he is satisfied with the girl, he will wrap a small gift around the embroidered balls and throw it back to the girl. This is how love begins. Hitting wooden troughs is usually held at the beginning of the lunar year. At first, young women hit the troughs with wooden sticks, making various sounds, and everyone is having fun. Then, several women hit the wooden troughs several times and sing folk songs. Then, many young men take wooden sticks and run to the wooden troughs to hit them together. Every time they hit them, everyone sings folk songs to express their love for each other. Among young men and women of the Zhuang ethnic group, there is a love custom of "looking at each other across the street". On the day of the fair, young men and women come to the street corner early in the morning. The men stand on one side and the women stand on the other side, only a few steps apart, looking at each other. They stand until the sun sets. The two sides exchange glances, and if they are interested, they signal the other side to leave. In the process of looking at each other, the companions in the two camps discuss and consult each other, which is very interesting. In the "March 3rd" of the Zhuang ethnic group, there is a particularly interesting activity of "touching eggs". On the night before, the young people specially prepared a dozen red-dyed cooked eggs and were very busy. At the beginning of the game, the man and the woman each hold an egg, stand opposite each other, and then touch each other with the red eggs. If the red eggs of both parties break at the same time, it is believed that the fate of the two people is connected and there is a fate, so the red eggs are given to each other and eaten. If only one side's red egg breaks, it means that there is no fate between the two parties, so they have to eat the red egg by themselves. In some Zhuang areas, after marriage, women have the custom of not staying in their husband's house. The wedding is held at the groom's house on the day of the wedding, and the bride lives in the husband's house that night, but the next day the bride has to return to her parents' home. After that, she will only go to the husband's house to work or live for a few days during the busy farming season or festivals. It will take two or three years before she can live in the husband's house for a long time. In addition, the Zhuang people also have the custom of "marrying a son-in-law". The man who marries into the woman's family must change his surname to the woman's, and his children will take the mother's surname and inherit all the mother's property. In modern times, the Zhuang people have been increasingly influenced by Han culture, which has left a mark of Han Confucianism on their simple customs. The Zhuang people's marriage form basically implements the system of free love and parental arrangement. Young men and women have social freedom before marriage, but even if both parties are in love, they must obtain the consent of their parents before they can get married. The main way of free marriage is for young men and women to choose their spouses by singing folk songs. This method is locally called "singing" or "catching up with the wind". The most detailed record of this is in the "Qiubei County Chronicle" of the Republic of China: "When the Sha people get married on festivals or go to the market, men and women each bring tobacco, meet in the wild fields among the grass and dew, hold hands and dance for fun, and call it eating fire grass tobacco. They will run away with whoever they like." Volume 3 of the "Zhenxiong Prefecture Chronicle" of the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty also records: "The Shatu (another name for the Sha people) do not need a matchmaker for marriage. Men and women in each village spy on each other. During the farming off-season, they go one or two miles away from the village to try to lead the girl out. They sit on the ground across from each other and sing long and graceful songs. They sing in unison and get closer and closer, with one person taking the lead. The men and women dance around. If the men and women are not in love, they will leave. If they are in love, the man will go home to tell his parents and marry them with cattle and sheep as betrothal gifts." The "Nong people" in Guangnan area "marry by singing privately, and then the parents will be informed of the rites and financial gifts." (Volume 2 of the "Guangnan Prefecture Chronicle" of the Daoguang period of the Qing Dynasty) This way of choosing a spouse by singing folk songs has long been an institution in the marriage life of the Zhuang people. Until before and after liberation, it was still very popular in the Zhuang areas of Guangnan. In Zhuang society, men and women usually have to learn to sing a few folk songs at the age of twelve or thirteen, and by the age of seventeen or eighteen, they must be able to learn love songs. There are strict regulations on the place to sing folk songs. Whether in a secluded mountain village or in a busy street, it must be a place that is recognized by everyone or can be seen by everyone. The time is determined according to the local agricultural production season. The number of times it is held each year varies from place to place. "Sha Ren" is usually held on the first street day of the first month of the lunar year and in February and March. "Nong Ren" is held before planting rice and after harvesting every year. At the appointed time, unmarried men and women and married women who have not "stayed at home" each bring rice candy, flower glutinous rice, small hand towels, small mirrors and other items, and sing folk songs in a fixed place. If a boy falls in love with a girl, he can try his best to flirt with her during the collective duet stage. If the girl also has admiration, the two will ask and answer each other with folk songs and become a pair. After singing, they can sit down and invite each other to a banquet, and give each other small items they carry with them as tokens of trust. In the future, they can invite each other to meet on street days or festivals. Friends made through singing folk songs, even if they are in love in the future, the man has to hire a matchmaker to make a formal proposal. "Marrying into the wife's family": men marrying and women looking for men. The Guangxi Zhuang area still preserves an ancient custom of "marrying into the wife's family". It is especially popular in counties in remote mountainous areas, such as Tianlin, Longlin Xilin, Lingyun, Leye, Donglan, Fengshan, Bama and other counties. Young men who voluntarily "marry into the wife's family" often have too many brothers in their families, or feel that the area where their families are located is not ideal, and have the desire to leave their hometown. So they try every means to go out of the house and ask around for relatives looking for a son-in-law. When they find a good match and feel satisfied, they boldly reveal their feelings to the woman and ask to marry her. With the consent of both parties, they can "marry into the wife's family". As for young women, they are determined to stay at home and support their parents out of filial piety. They go from village to village, first near and then far, to find a suitable "come-to-the-door man". However, their way of finding a partner is not as straightforward as that of men. They often go from village to village to help during the busy farming season and sing folk songs at night. Through labor and communication, they observe the man's wishes and performance. Once they take a fancy to a man, they will try every means to find an opportunity to chat and talk. Once the man agrees, after a year or so, they will invite him to "marry into the family". Another type is some families with only women and no men. When parents ask for a son-in-law to come to the house, they will come forward to find a matchmaker for their daughters and send a matchmaker to the man's house to propose marriage. With the consent of both men and women, they will invite him to "marry into the family". According to convention, young men who accept the invitation to "marry into the family" do not receive gifts or prepare "dowry" when they get married. Everything needed for marriage is prepared by the woman. On the day of the man's "marriage", the family generally does not hold a wedding or a banquet. But the wedding of the bride is very grand. All relatives and friends must come to congratulate. Chickens and ducks must be slaughtered and a banquet must be held to entertain them. That night, the family also lights candles and invites the elders of the clan to discuss around the table. According to the clan surname and the ranking of men of the same generation, the son-in-law's surname and name should be changed. The daughter is ranked the oldest, and the son-in-law is also ranked the oldest. In the future, he will be regarded as the son of the family, and his peers will call him brother. Even if he is older than his elder brother, the elder brother can only call him younger brother. The title of "brother-in-law" and "brother-in-law" is absolutely taboo. In the future, all children will take the mother's surname. Men who "marry into the family" are respected by people both in the family and in society. If he is capable and prestigious, the masses can elect him as a village cadre and enjoy the same status as local men. If the wife dies prematurely after marriage, he has the right to inherit the family property, and the family must find another wife for him. Although this custom of the Zhuang nationality has a long history, it has broken the bad habit of "preferring sons over daughters". Wherever "marrying into the wife's family" is prevalent, people can regard the sons and daughters as the successors of the family line and the reliable people for old-age care regardless of whether they have a son or a daughter. Zhuang nationality marriage custom: mixed joy and sorrow "Crying Wedding Song" On the wedding day of a Zhuang woman, the first thing to do is to comb her hair: the matchmaker and the bride's escort help the bride comb her hair, while the bride sings "Crying Wedding Song", crying from morning until she leaves her parents' home. There are many kinds of crying wedding songs, such as crying for "father and mother", "brothers and sisters", "son-in-law", etc. The main contents include praising the grace of parents' raising, complaining about being born a girl and having to get married, complaining about brothers monopolizing the family property after they get married, or nostalgia for the sisters who grew up together, etc. The tunes are gentle and lingering, which makes people cry. "Crying Wedding" is a marriage custom spread among Zhuang farmers, with a long history. Most of the Zhuang farmers live in remote areas with mountains and inconvenient transportation. The place where the girls get married is as close as 2 to 3 miles away, or as far as hundreds of miles away, across provinces, counties, and villages, and it is difficult to see each other once they are separated. "It is hard to meet each other, but it is also hard to leave each other." I don't know when I will return home, and I can't help but shed tears after thinking about it. "Crying for marriage" is the emotional expression and spiritual confession of the Zhuang people who are hardworking, brave, simple and kind, respect the elderly and love the young, and are hospitable to say goodbye to their families and thank their relatives and friends. The so-called "crying for marriage" is a form of "crying" when a girl gets married, pouring out her heart, expressing her parting feelings, greeting guests, and saying goodbye to her relatives. Located in Leye County in the mountainous area of northwest Guangxi, in the rural areas where the Zhuang people live in Yachang Township, Luoxi Township, Youping Township and other places on the banks of the Hongshui River, this ancient, unique and rich wedding custom is still widely circulated. Here, a girl's marriage is called "sending the girl away", and a young man's marriage is called "receiving a daughter-in-law". When rural people discuss marriage, usually whoever observes and understands the two families and thinks that they are more "compatible" will volunteer to be a matchmaker to promote the marriage; or a man who thinks that a girl and her family are good at dealing with people will invite a "matchmaker" to propose marriage. After a series of procedures such as "recognizing people", "taking combs", and "burning incense", they gradually understand each other, deepen their feelings, and harmonize their relationships. When conditions are ripe, they will take the "birth dates" of both parties to see the "time", set a wine date, and organize the wedding. When a girl leaves her marriage, she has to eat "leaving her mother's meal". On the eve of the wine, the oldest female elder in the family will dress the girl up and dress her up like an adult woman. At night, when the rooster crows for the first time, a ceremony is held in front of the main hall, burning incense and paper, and praying to the ancestors. First, cry for the grandfather (mother) and parents to thank them for their years of raising them and express their reluctant farewell, which is called "opening the voice" or "starting the voice". In the past, girls could not go to school and could not read. They had to memorize and pass down the crying words by word of mouth. Nowadays, girls go to school and can read. They write the crying words in a notebook and read and recite them. They start from childhood and practice memorizing. There are many kinds of crying words with rich content. Grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers and sisters, classmates and friends all have different crying words, which can be as short as three to five minutes or as long as half an hour. They cry according to their identities. On the day of the girl's wedding, a banquet is set up to entertain relatives and friends. The girl wanders in and out of the house, walks around, and observes carefully. When she finds that a guest has arrived, she immediately goes over to cover her face with a towel and kneel down crying. The voice is full of emotion and exciting. The guest helps her up and gives her comfort and blessings, and gives her "crying money" to show her feelings. Some female guests cry in return and express their feelings to each other. The procession to pick up and send off the bride is huge, with singing and laughter, loud gongs and drums, suonas, and firecrackers. The atmosphere is warm and grand, and the scene is very touching. After the banquet is over, the guests will choose an auspicious day in the early morning of the next day to "send the sedan chair" out, and "return home" on the third day. The wedding is over and everyone is happy. "Not living in the husband's house" or "sitting at home" is still a custom in some places. After young men and women get married, the bride returns to her parents' home to live, and only lives in her husband's home for a short time during major festivals and busy farming seasons, and only lives in her husband's home for a long time after she becomes pregnant. Therefore, the time of "not living in the husband's house" varies from three to five years. Women who "not living in the husband's house" can socialize more freely with other men in their hometown markets, singing festivals, and visiting relatives, and even have sex in the fields. They will not live in their husband's house until they give birth. The etiquette for Zhuang women to give birth to their first child is particularly grand. Once the woman is pregnant, her mother will be busy weaving cloth and preparing clothes, shoes and socks for the child, and her husband's family will prepare chickens, eggs and glutinous rice for the pregnant woman. After the baby is born, a grapefruit branch will be hung on the mother's door, or a knife will be inserted, indicating that there is a pregnant woman in the family, and outsiders are prohibited from entering the house to borrow things or other pregnant women. When the baby is one month old, relatives will bring gifts, usually chickens, eggs, glutinous rice and children's clothes to congratulate. The host family will kill chickens and ducks to entertain, and bring out the prepared Zhuang sweet white wine for relatives to taste, which is called "eating the first month rice wine". After drinking the first month rice wine, the mother will choose an auspicious day and carry the child back to her parents' home to stay for a few days. Before leaving, the mother-in-law will smear the pot soot on the baby's forehead, intending to avoid disasters and grow up safely and quickly. When returning to the husband's home, the parents' family will send a chicken, a liter of glutinous rice and a basket of baba. When the child is one year old, a "Zhuazhou" ceremony will be held to predict the child's talents and future prospects.